This week, I’m thrilled to have Heather Khym, co-host of the Abiding Together Podcast, join me for a special episode. With Advent in full swing, Heather and I dive deep into the meaning of this beautiful season and how it’s so much more than just a countdown to Christmas.
Heather shares the inspiration behind her Advent journal, Encountering Emmanuel, and how Jesus wants to meet us in our “messy stables”—the broken, vulnerable places we often hide. We reflect on the importance of slowing down, making space for Christ, and letting Him enter our hearts to bring healing and freedom.
In this conversation, we explore some powerful truths:
👉Why Advent feels overlooked and how we can reclaim its importance.
👉How to recognize Christ as the healer who enters our struggles, not just a distant figure.
👉Heather’s personal stories of vulnerability and the real freedom that comes when we let go of control.
👉Practical ways to prepare your heart for Jesus this season, using Heather’s guided reflections and journaling prompts.
Advent is a time to pause, reflect, and encounter Christ anew. I hope this episode inspires you to open your heart to Him, whether that means diving into Heather’s journal or simply carving out quiet time to pray.
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Well, welcome back to the pew. Everybody. I’m your host, John Edwards, and I’m very excited for this week’s episode of just a guy on the pew this week. Victor’s off doing something for Thanksgiving or something. So my buddy, Heather Khym decided to jump in and take his seat today virtually.
And I’m excited to have her on the show folks. If you do not know who Heather Khym is. She is the co host of the internationally popular Abiding Together podcast with Sister Miriam and Michelle. She and her husband Jake are co founders of Life Restoration Ministries, where she serves as director of vision and ministry of the British Columbia based Apostolate.
So she is Canadian by, uh, by where she lives now, part time. She lives in Steubenville sometimes too, but she’s, uh, she also serves as the director of the Celtic Cross Foundation. She’s been doing ministry for over 25 years, uh, as a speaker, retreat leader, Given workshops and conferences. Uh, she also was a student and graduated from Franciscan where she studied theology and catechetic.
So I might’ve said that wrong. If I did, I promise you I’m more intelligent than that, but I might’ve gotten that word wrong. But, uh, she still lives in British Columbia with her husband and her three children. So without further ado, Heather, welcome to the show. It’s great to have you here. Thank you so much.
I’ve been really looking forward to our conversations. So thanks for having me here. Yeah, it’s awesome. I know you and I, uh, we met. I guess, uh, what we didn’t talk about this before we started recording, but you and I actually met When I was still part of virtual catholic conference I was one of the guys that founded that during covid and you and sister and michelle came on for one of our I want to say it was a healing conference or something, but we uh, we had you guys interviewed on there you did a show for the online conference during covid and So I got a few minutes with you there in the green room to To me, it’s been a while back.
So I don’t expect you to remember that, but then we got forgotten about that. Yeah, this is great. And then we met at the NEC properly. Sure. Sure. So all that came through sister, I met her first and then was lucky to get introduced to you guys and to start building a friendship there. So, like I said, I’m excited to have you here.
It was great to see you and Jake at the, uh, JP two healing center. All are kind of knitted into this whole, uh, JP2 healing, uh, healing, uh, ministry that Dr. Bob has. So it’s great to, to be in good company with y’all and the work that you guys are doing alongside of Bob and sister and everybody else. Yeah.
Thank you so much. It’s such a pleasure. Privilege really isn’t it to be in the vineyard, just, um, trying to help people come along, you know, I feel like for all of us, you you’ve been so vulnerable in sharing your own story, but I think that’s the real stuff, right? It’s like, we’re all on a journey together.
And as much as we can help each other along the way, I mean, that’s, that’s the good stuff right there. Yeah, it is. And I think that comes through. Uh, on y’all show. And then even like the stuff that you post online, I was looking at something you posted yesterday. That was, it was multiple pictures to, to look through.
And it was just this beautiful journey. We’re taking people on like statement by statement, talking about, um, just how God’s there and everything. And there’s a, you have a really unique quality to come across as very genuine and very, not to say other people aren’t, I don’t want to sound like I’m beating up on people, but like you just have, you come across as somebody who’s like, Hey, She just as soon sit down and have beer and wings with you, uh, is she would, you know, talk to you about Jesus too.
Right. So I think that’s very attractive to people and people really relate to y’all. Well, and I think that’s why you guys have the following you do and the, and the folks that are so moved every time you guys have a show come out. Yeah, I think, uh, for me, I don’t really know how to be any other way.
Thankfully, uh, the Lord has stripped a lot of that away along the years, you know, and I’ve realized that actually just being honest about who we are and where we are is, um, is really what the Lord desires. And there’s a lot of freedom that’s come in that for me. It took a long time to be able to sort of settle in to like who, who I am and, and who I’m becoming.
You know, and I think that’s part of it is like, we’re all becoming, and we’re all, like I said, we’re on a journey, but by that, I mean, like we get opportunities to grow. And that also recognizes, Hey, we don’t have it all together, you know, and the more that we can be honest about that, I think it allows a lot of room for God to be who he is in our life and wants to be who he is.
Yeah, no, I do too. I, I, I couldn’t agree with you more. There is a freedom when you’ve just come to realize that you’re not the sum of your mistakes and your failures and that God loves you through all of it. And, you know, you mentioned being vulnerable. I mean, you get up and you start telling people about the things in your life and they, they no longer have power over you anymore once you’ve let God into those things.
And there is a freedom. And I think that’s why vulnerability is so important. Uh, because not only. Is it helpful to you, but it’s also, it gives permission to others to see the freedom and Hey, nobody abandoned them or nobody ran the other way. In fact, they love them in spite of those things. And it’s really, uh, I think what Jesus calls all of us to is just that joy and that freedom to live in who we are in him.
And so I think that’s beautiful. Thanks for, for sharing your thoughts there. It’s, it’s, um, yeah, it’s like you said, it’s a gift to be able to do this. Sometimes when I’m coming here and turn on the microphone, I’m like, Lord, you should You, you, you still, you sure I’m still the right guy for the job or like there’s somebody else, you know, and he keeps telling me to do it.
So I’m sure you kind of feel that way sometimes too, but. But, uh, I’m excited to have you on here today, uh, in particular to talk about something that I know you’ve been working on and has recently come out. Um, it’s this Advent guided journal for prayer and meditation with Ave Maria and it’s called Encountering Emmanuel.
And we were talking before we came on the air, you know, over the last few years, uh, I’ve been picking these up, you know, I’ve had different people doing them every year. And so, you know, went through the one with father John Burns at Lent, I believe. And one was sister, I think it was called behold. And there’s just a lot of, I think they’ve got a really thing, go a good thing going in there.
They have, uh, obviously picked great people to do it. So I know we’re about to enter into Advent. In fact, this, this episode will be out the first week of end of Advent. So I’m excited to kind of talk to you a little bit today about. Advent and, and why it’s important and why you felt led to do this and to write this book.
And, you know, what you hope people are going to get out of it, because, you know, quite frankly, I said this to you as we were, we’re getting ready for the show too. I kind of feel like, you know, advent can sort of be the redheaded stepchild of the liturgical season of the year of the church. Sometimes it’s everybody gets all geared up for Lent and Advent.
It’s just sort of the, the pause between Thanksgiving and Christmas. Right. If you will. And, and, uh, it’s just, it’s so much more than that. And such a, a, a greater opportunity to, to really. Uh, prepare the way of the Lord, if you will. Yeah, exactly. And I just want to say, since this is already the first week of Advent, that people are listening to this, it’s not too late people.
If you haven’t started something, if you don’t have the book or whatever it is that you will want to do, it’s not too late, like in scripture. It says now is the time. So, today is a new day and you can get started on something today. And I love that the church does liturgical seasons for us because often I feel like, and maybe you feel the same, it’s like life is happening to me.
Everything is moving so quickly that I’m like, wait, am I in charge of my life or is life just like coming at me? And so I think liturgical seasons are really an opportunity to kind of wake us up and give us pause to go, Oh my gosh, like. Are my priorities straight? Like what actually is most important to me in my life?
And, and where do I need to allow Jesus to come in? Like what’s maybe gotten a bit out of control or what am I sort of like putting under the rug or I’m not making space for that’s most important. I guess it’s like a reset, you know, it gives us an opportunity to come back to ourselves, to come back to the Lord and come back to what’s most important.
So that’s really the hope for this journal and, you know, for Advent this year, I think is to. Put first. What should be first? Yeah. Make space for that. Mm-Hmm. . Yeah. It, it, it’s, I couldn’t agree more. I mean, even when you think about Lent, you know, it’s, I I always laugh ’cause you know, you’ll get so busy, like you were saying and, and starting the year or whatever it may be in that time of year, but.
Then somebody says like, you know, Ash Wednesday is like this week and you’re like, Oh, and you think of the one thing, you know, the Lord wants, and you kind of whistle past the graveyard. Like you didn’t hear it, you know? And, and it is, it’s an opportunity to reset. And, and as we talked about a few minutes ago, I mean, Advent is, it’s a penitential season too.
And it’s, it’s an opportunity to come back to the Lord with, with, uh, with everything in your life. And You know, what I, what I love about Advent is when you start to think about it, and I want you to speak more to this because I know you’ve obviously written a book on it now, and you’ve spent a lot of time here with it, but, um, I just, I love the idea of looking at it, not as just Christ being born as a child, but as Him coming as divine healer, right?
And wanting to come into these places of our hearts and, and, you know, And, and you have this whole period as you’re going towards the birth of Christ to really start to concentrate on that and really start to think and to ponder on those things and, and to offer back to them those things you talked about that maybe you hadn’t in your life.
Yeah, it really was like a lot of the focus for this particular book. I was praying, I mean, you could go in a hundred directions, you know, I feel like there’s so many different scriptures or themes you could pull for Advent. And as I was praying about it, I was thinking, okay, like the two bookends here where we look back.
Uh, to when Christ came 2, 000 years ago, a real event. We focused on that during Advent. Then we also looked where the second coming and this is what the church is, is saying to us. And as I was praying, I was walking down my driveway one day and I said, Lord, what do you want me to say in this book? And he said, I’m coming now.
I’m coming for people now, like, I want to come into the darkness now. I want to come into the places where there’s hopelessness, where there’s anxiety and depression. And I want to bring freedom. And I was like, okay, whoa, like, here we go. Like, let’s do this. So let me get some paper, scratch this down. So yeah.
So every meditation for each day starts with, he comes. And I think what got impressed upon my heart is in that, is that We can often get it mixed up, like, it’s all up to me, I gotta, like, do my self reliant thing that I always do to, like, muster up some grit and, like, get at it, you know, and we do have some decisions to make, of course, but Christ is always the one who initiates, He’s the one who’s already come, and He is coming, and He will come again, you know, so there is a seriousness there.
It’s around Advent that’s actually really good. Sometimes we hear serious news, we go, Oh man, that just sounds like hard, you know, but to just know he’s, he’s already, he’s already coming. He’s initiated. And for us, the opportunity is to respond and to open our hearts. Just like our lady did. It’s like the Lord came to her, the word came to her in the annunciation and it was like, what will you do?
You know? And she was like, well, I’m afraid. And then she said, yes. And I’m like, could we? You know, allow our lady to teach us something in that could we this Advent, like, be like her and open up ourselves in a real way, like a real way for Jesus to come into our life. And, and, and that’s the hope. I mean, all of those meditations that, that I wrote are just like real things that have happened.
that have happened in my life that the Lord has been, you know, just teaching me along the way that I think he just wants to teach all of us for what it’s worth. I think if people just read the book, it’s like, you’ll probably disappointed at the end of Advent. It’s just going to be a book, but, but if you actually do what’s in here, which is at the end of each meditation, there’s a time to pray and a time to, Like journal a little bit and go under the surface in your own heart.
And I think that’s where the real stuff is gonna happen, because that’s the opportunity for Jesus to meet you right where you are. Yeah. And I, uh, I couldn’t agree more because I, one, when some of these start first started coming out, I, you know, that’s what I did. I’d read it every day and go, okay, I read it with, you know, every other.
You know, reflection or daily journal, you know, book that has, uh, some sort of, uh, daily inspiration. And if you just, you know, get up, pray, read it, throw it on the bed and say, okay, I checked off another thing. It’s not going to be as helpful as it would be if you sat down with it the next year. I got one of those old black and white like, um, Mead high school books and just started journaling every day.
Like I’m going to do this and I’m going to sit down and I’m not going to blow off what it’s asking me to do. And I’m not going to tell myself I’m, I’m too busy and I have ministry stuff to do, so I don’t have time to pray or like sit with God. And when I did started doing that, these books really started coming to life and the Lord started shining a light.
You know, in the places like you’re talking about that he wanted to speak to me. And I think that’s the beauty of it. You’re a hundred percent right. Like we all struggle with the same things. If I’ve come to learn anything in the last few years of ministry, it’s like, we all, we’re all struggling with the same stuff.
Like there’s not, I don’t care if your theology is super sound and you can quote the Summa in your sleep, or if you’re just a beginner, we all struggle with the same stuff. And that’s where Christ wants to meet us. Isn’t that every day, every day, um, Just whatever we have going on in the moment. And so I’m excited for people to start doing that with this.
And I saw that you have, like, you broke it down for those who haven’t had it yet. Like you’ve got. You know, your introduction where you’re kind of talking about why and what you’re doing here and what the hopes are. And then every one of these books comes with, okay, like, how is this organized and how should I go through it?
So you’re not guessing at it. There’s a lot of stuff that starts leading you and encouraging you, encouraging you in specific ways to go through it. But then. you know, you, you break it into four different weeks that are titled four different things. And I thought maybe we could kind of jump into that a little bit and talk about, you know, those themes and why four and, you know, where are you starting and where are you going?
Yeah. I mean, I had that kind of idea. Okay. So Jesus wants to come, like, how do we, what do we nest this in? And what, what I was drawn to was the four reasons for the incarnation that we find in the catechism. So it’s nested in, not just like, Oh, some ideas Heather had, but What the church teaches, what Jesus has revealed as to why he came.
So, the first week is Jesus comes to save us. The second week is Jesus comes to make us sharers in his divine life. The third week is that he shows us how to live. He’s a model for holiness. And the fourth is that he shows us God’s love. And so, that’s important for us to note. Jesus came for reasons.
Mm-Hmm. , he’s very intentional about why he was coming here. And, and all of those things don’t just matter in the grand scheme of like, oh yes, the church says this, and as the world, you know, we should understand. It’s like, what does this mean for me? And that’s where this book is going. Like, in every single thing, this, this advent, it’s gonna be okay, that’s great.
This stuff out there, this, this scripture, or this idea, or this teaching, or this saint said this, but what does that mean for me? And what is my response to that? You know, also, and, um, yeah, so I, I love that there was like themes that were, I mean, obviously so clear that we could jump right into, um, but yeah, we’re going to keep going under the surface.
And for some people, they might be like, Oh man, I don’t, I don’t want to, like, I work really hard to stay away from those places. Why are you sticking your finger in it? You know? And I would just say. You know, take a breath, and maybe there’s some reasons there that are wrapped up in some misconceptions that you might have about who God is or who Jesus is.
And I think we all have them. John, I’m sure you could name off a few that you’ve struggled with in your life and maybe still do. And I could say the same, and there’s usually reasons. Why? It probably makes sense if I, you know, if people were to share their story with us, it would probably make sense why they believe certain lies or have misconceptions about who Jesus is and who God is.
And when we actually invite the real Jesus to come and meet us, what can happen there is that it shatters those misconceptions and then we could actually be loved by a God who is love, you know, where we could actually receive. fear and his tenderness and his kindness. And even, you know, the conviction that comes with, whoa, I need to change some things in my life.
Ultimately, he’s a God that wants to love us into freedom. You know, he doesn’t just want us to have better behavior. Although we should probably have better behavior in certain places, but, but that’s not the point, you know, and I think sometimes we reduce. Yeah. Our religion or our practice to just like, okay, I got to do this stuff.
I got to check the boxes. I got to, you know, like be a good boy or be a good, good girl. And we forget that this is like one massive love story that we’re in. And we actually are really desperate for a savior and we have one. Yeah. And we have an opportunity to experience that. Yeah, you’re man. That’s beautiful.
And that’s the truth. I mean, I. I was sitting there, you were talking about all the things in your life. And I’m like, yeah, I’ve got a giant scroll on the wall. I could just unroll across the room with everything. I still deal with in trouble, you know, struggle with and all those things. We have them, but like you’re saying, I can remember, um, being in the jail cell when I was, you know, in trouble.
And, and, uh, and I had been so ugly to God, like when my mother died and I blamed him and I. And I had just been so, uh, contrary to him and had given up on him, but he never gave up on me and in that gel cell, like he came into that moment when I just remember feeling a presence and going like, okay, what do you want?
Like, you’re probably here to punish me even further. And instead it was nothing but love. He was nothing but love. Like he just, he walked me through so many things in my memory and the things and just, you know, I, I began to feel great repentance in the moment and the need to, uh, in the realization that.
My life had gotten so off course, but, um, but yeah, he was gentle. He didn’t come in. And I think that a lot of men in particular, you know, we have a lot of men that listen to the show, obviously, but a lot of guys can feel like that. God is like a father figure. They had that maybe wasn’t the kindest or was very authoritative or punishing.
And the, you know, God’s kind of. On a cloud is a cosmic police officer waiting for us to die so he can punish us. But no, it’s just this great love of sending his own son and then Christ and his willingness coming here to, to do exactly that, to enter into those places. And. You’re right, we, we, we close our fist, we, we put up barricades, we double lock the doors of our hearts and, and don’t want them to come in.
But man, when we can find the courage, and sometimes that comes in rock bottom moments, sometimes it’s just a moment of grace, but I guess all of them are moments of grace. But, uh, when we finally meet them, we, and you see who, as you said, Christ really is, it blows you away. Like it blows you away that the God of the universe cares that much about you, you know?
Yeah, exactly. I love what you’re sharing there and just your, your vulnerability. And although I, I haven’t myself been in an actual jail cell, I can say, I feel like I’m, there are places of my heart that are in prison. You know, that I, I need Jesus to come into those places too. And one of the misconceptions that I had for a very long time in my life growing up was that God was far away and he didn’t care.
He was just unmoved by my suffering. And it was just like, he was just like this distant figure in the sky, um, with his arms folded just waiting for me to get it together, you know, and, and that experience that you’re talking about there at the end of him shattering those. Misconceptions and, and me actually being able to experience his close proximity and his care for me has been one of the most healing and powerful things in my life.
And, and is that not what Advent and Christmas is all about is like Jesus comes close. He doesn’t stay away as his distant, like in heaven, you know, wherever that is, if we can even imagine it, but he actually came to this earth, like you can go to the sea of Galilee where, where he walked on those shores and, and he became a human being and he became so little and vulnerable.
So it shows us like he didn’t come to intimidate us. Like he just came vulnerable with nothing, like as a little baby. Who would do that? It’s ridiculous. You know, we think about like, he actually let humans hold him. Like we could have dropped him. We could have hurt him. We did hurt him eventually, you know, but he came because of his great love for us.
Yeah. And because he does, he wants us to know he doesn’t want to be far away. And again, like that idea and that truth, um, we want to become a reality for us this Advent. And that’s, uh, I think that’s the thing we have to remind ourselves, especially as Catholics. I mean, I was a convert, you know, I was, grew up Baptist and there’s obviously a huge focus on personal relationship with Jesus Christ.
Right. And you hear that a lot. And in fact, I make jokes about it. When I give a talk on the most important thing in personal relationship with Jesus Christ is I’ll always say, and yes, it’s Catholic because so many people hear that. And they’re like, that’s that Protestant stuff. But But really that’s what he wants and, and the, you know, he, he wants to come for relationship and, and wants to come close, as you said, like he, he chose not to stay distant to, to, to show himself to us.
And, you know, you talked earlier about how you read something matters. I think that’s important with scripture as well, too. That we, when we read it, it’s like, okay, well, here’s the adulterous woman in the glass houses and all that stuff. You can read it that way. Or, or what is Jesus trying to do in my life today?
Like, what is he, who am I in this today? Am I the woman on the ground reaching up, begging for mercy because I made a mistake? Or. Am I, am I Christ in someone else’s life, you know, reaching a hand of mercy down? Am I a Pharisee who’s standing in judgment over somebody in my life or, or an apostle that doesn’t know what’s going on?
Like, who am I today in that? And I think it’s beautiful that you said that because everything in our faith, we’re not careful, can become rules and regulations. And we can forget that all of that is the pathway and the interstate or the road to deeper relationship. And it starts here in Advent, right? The church starts here.
with Christ coming and as you said, becoming this vulnerable little baby. And when you start to even look into the, the nuances of Advent, like where he’s, he’s born into a feeding trough, you know, as he would, he would give himself as, as the Eucharist, uh, throughout the rest of time, uh, Bethlehem house of bread.
You know, you start to look at these things and, and you can’t make this stuff up, right? Like it’s, the Lord had all of this planned out and it started with him coming, not only to come into that, into that feeding trough, but to come into our hearts. And he’s there every day at mass waiting to do that.
Right. And, and, uh, I just, I, that’s what I get chills when I start thinking about all that with Advent. Mm hmm. Totally. And I mean, that he would come into a messy stable. I mean, wow, that sounds a lot like my heart, you know, so it’s really hopeful. It’s like really hopeful, like scripture, like you said, when we get into scripture, we can start to see the real Jesus.
And that, that also blows apart our misconceptions. And one of the questions that, you know, I think many of us need to ask is like, what if it’s true? And some people are like, what, like what? Like we sort of like assume we think it’s true, but do you believe that that’s true? And that he is the same one now as he was then.
He has the power to do the same things now as he did then. So, um, my dad, I don’t, I don’t know if you’ve heard this story, John, but when I was a senior in high school, my dad, he was a very capable businessman, very successful. a great negotiator. He could just work a room. Like he was just really good, competent, you know, he was always fixing everybody’s problems and helping out so generous.
And then he was diagnosed with non Hodgkin’s large cell lymphoma and they said he had three months left to live. And I mean, nothing will bring you to your knees like moments like that. And I think we all have them in different ways, whether it be somebody passes away or, you know, a deep suffering that we have to journey through where it strips us of our, our false idea that we have it all together, you know, and, and takes away our ability to be self reliant.
Cause we’re like, I actually can’t fix this. And it was, the cancer was all through his body. It was in his bone marrow and in his bloodstream and tumors all in different areas. And. He read this scripture one night when he was in the cancer clinic, and they were about to do a scan the next morning, and they just said, you have three months left to live, you need to get your affairs in order, and he read the scripture about the healing of the leper.
And he just lay there and he was like, he said, I prayed for myself for the first time. I never felt worthy to ask God for anything before, but he read that scripture and he was like, it was that. What if it’s true? You know, I think like that came into his mind. Like, what if it’s true? And so he just prayed and he had this incredible experience of the presence of God and his like power rushing through his body and he went in for the scan the next day and they knew there was tumors in his abdomen, his spleen, all the lymph nodes all over and they came back and they said, there’s nothing there.
Oh my gosh. Yeah. And he lives next door to me right now. I didn’t know. I thought you were going to tell me he passed and now all of a sudden, what a beautiful story. Yeah. Yeah. And I share that. I think as I share it a lot now, um, because I, I think there is a real sort of like belief under the surface that we’re like, he can’t do stuff anymore.
Jesus is powerless in some way. And not to say that he’s always going to do that because that would be heaven, you know, that if he healed everything and you know, hurt every desire or hurt like that, like ultimately that will be satisfied one day. But yes, he can right now. And if the answer is not yet, then he will come with his presence, which is even more incredible than just the pain being taken away.
You know, I think the holiest people have suffered and, and in their suffering, they have learned deep intimacy and friendship with Jesus. Yeah, I can, I can tell you, you know, I alluded to my mother passing and being angry at God. And I can remember the first time that I ever went to a doctor’s appointment with her, because I was in a very bad state of life.
I mean, I was addicted to all sorts of things. I was selfish. I was buying into everything. The world tells a man you should be money, fortune, fame, you know, accomplishments, all that stuff. And I remember I live right around the corner from the cancer clinic that she was going to. And, uh, they had sort of, they had a, Uh, they both were the same part of Mississippi and they had moved back down there.
Uh, but they still had a home up here in Memphis. They were trying to sell. And so she kept her appointments up here. And, and, uh, one day I was just making sales calls and I remembered out of the blue, like, I think mom has a doctor’s appointment. It’d been weeks since I saw them because I was always too busy and all that stuff.
And so I stopped by there and I go in and, uh, and I said, you know, it was miss Edwards here. And they said, yes, who are you? I’m her son. And they sent me back to the office and, or to the room. And I’m staying there and my, my father was not a very, uh, mostly capable guy. So he kind of looked at me like, son, when I came in, but my mother was overjoyed.
And that was the day the doctor walked in and said, like, you know, you must be John. Uh, Proving my point. I wasn’t around very much like my sisters that were there for her all the time and uh, she said it’s nice to meet you. I’m sorry. It’s under these circumstances, but um, and she turned to my mother and said, you know, she’d had some heart issues.
So they chose to stop the chemo to do heart surgery and then the cancer spread. And it went, you know, from her breast or lymph nodes and her lungs and then into her brain. And so the doctor looked and said, Ms. Edwards, I’m sorry, but you have, you know, two weeks to a month to live and I followed them back to their house in Midtown and, and, uh, they were getting clothes to take down to the farm so they could go by, be by themselves.
And to your point about your father, like I opened the car door and all six, eight, 275 pounds, my mother was like maybe five, three and a half. And I just fell into her lap and started crying, you know, and just said, mom, this isn’t right, this isn’t fair. And, and I’ll never forget. She just, she just sat there rubbing my head.
And I always tell people that’s why I’m bald now. She rubbed the hair right off. But like. But I remember just laying in her lap, it, you know, 35 years old, whatever I was at the time. And, and her just saying, it’s okay, John, like I knew this could happen, but I love Jesus. And I’ve known Jesus my whole life.
And while I’m going to miss you and, and, you know, I won’t get to, to be here for a lot of things. I know that I’m going to be with Jesus and I know that he’s going to be waiting for me, you know, and I. I just remember being angry, you know, because I was selfish and I was like, no, I want you here and he can have you later and all that stuff, but just being so impacted by the fact of like, you just found out you’re going to die.
You just found out like, this is it. Like, there’s no, you know, you can pray, but, and maybe something will happen in the case of like your father, but. But I just remember going like, what faith? And I honestly think when I look back at that, yeah, the jail and all that stuff. But I really think that that moment was the beginning of a turning point in my own journey of like just being hit in the face with what real faith and real relationship with Christ look like, you know?
And so my mother did not, she didn’t make it. I was there at her bedside when she passed with my family and I looked, watched her look at my dad and say, I love you. And him say, I love you back and, and, and, and pass peacefully. But, um, yeah, it just, It goes back to what you’re talking about, just this relationship and in somebody that had, it just spent her life trying to grow that and saw him and everything, um, was just so beautiful to witness, you know?
Yeah. Yeah. That, that, thank you for sharing that. Those are really sacred moments, aren’t they? Yeah. Like sacred, sacred moments. And, and I think for, you know, people listening, they’re probably right now going, Oh, wow. Yeah. That, that makes me remember this, you know, part of my life for a suffering, a deep place of suffering.
And, and what we do in those moments really matters. You know, what we do from the Those moments of suffering really matters. And it sounds like for you, you know, the anger and then deeper into some, some other things other than God, you know, eventually brought you back to him. And I think it’s because those are sobering moments where we have to face ourselves and we have to face what’s actually going on under the surface, you know, and for you, it sounds like it was exposing a lot of other things that were under there, you know, and eventually like you came to, came to where you need to be.
And, um, and so I think for people listening right now who are being reminded of deep places of suffering, the hope is that Jesus also suffered, and that he can take the most horrible things and make them into something beautiful. And although I, I’m telling you, you know, my dad was healed from cancer, there’s tons of other things that, you know, we prayed for that it’s like, oh, the answer wasn’t yes.
The answer was no, no or not yet. And um, and even some of those places now in my own life, but the presence of Christ there is changing everything for me. It really is like, I’m, I’m less going to the other things that I used to just drown my sorrows in. And the more that I come to him, the more I’m just like, Oh wow, like you’re, I’m still hurting, but like your presence here is so healing for me.
It is what I need. You know, it’s what, it’s what we want. And, um, I think the more we get honest, just to go back to where we kind of started, you know, it’s like the more we can get honest about those places, the more we can experience the relief of Jesus. Yeah. You know, it’s like, if we don’t get honest about that, then we’re just carrying it all on our own.
It doesn’t go away. We know that it’s just right under there all the time. It’s coming out in all kinds of ways. If you asked other people around you, they’d be like, Oh, I can see it. Even if you think you’re good at hiding it, like they can see it. It’s coming out in your anger and your selfishness and your, you know, whatever addictions you might be going into.
And so it’s like, Hey, what if we could just be honest and just said like, Lord, I need you in our desperation, like actually really need you. And then we could experience the relief of him. Yeah, no, a hundred percent. I, uh, you mentioned the Holy land earlier and I’ve walked in those places and I’ve been in that I went with father Larry Richards a year ago and.
Um, you know, but a pilgrimage over there and it was really powerful. And I remember one of the moments, um, you know, I, I’m not a guy that’s just like, okay, I’m going to give a lecture at every stop and all that, you know, I’m just like, Lord, if you moved me to say something, then, you know, then I will, and we were, um, at the healing pools, you know, uh, where Jesus says, do you want to be healed?
And, uh, he moved me with a group of people that were sitting there and I said, the guy said, do you want to say something? I was like, yeah, I’m not really sure what. But the Lord’s moving me, I opened my mouth and just the Lord started speaking. And, and, uh, and I just remember reading that passage and saying people to people like, do you ever wonder like why he didn’t call the person by their name?
Like he could have, he knew their name, like Josaphat, do you want to be healed or whatever? And instead he says, do you. Do you want to be healed? And the fact that I think the Lord did that because he knew thousands of years later that people would be reading that and that he would want them to be asking themselves that question, right?
Like, do you want to be healed? And where in your life do you want to be healed? And that’s, that’s who Jesus is. If you look at everything, every interaction he had with anybody healed, it was never like, Hey, I’m the son of God. And like, you know, I’m just going to come over and fix this for you real quick.
And just to, you know, to have an example, to show people that I am who I say I am. Amen. It was always very relational, you know, what do you see? What, what would you like me to do for you? Uh, do you want to be healed? Right. And that’s who God is in that gentleness. And, uh, sometimes I miss my old, uh, Protestant Bibles that had like the, the things Jesus said in red, right.
Where you could just look and flip it open and boom, there’s something, I mean, Jesus obviously wrote the whole thing, but like to have his spoken words, they’re highlighted. I could often flip to those things. I know we have some Catholic Bibles that do that too. But. Um, just to really go to those places because every time I, I need him, I open up that book and he has something to say to me, right.
And even in this Advent season, I, you know, I think about some of the things that I like to read and, and, you know, I want to hear if these are some things you like to go through too, and then maybe jump a little bit more into the book. But, um, Just, you know, John 1 where it’s talking about the word was made flesh and why he came and the world that was in darkness and he came to be a light like this time of year in particular like I read that and I’m almost I’m trying not to cry right now, like thinking about it, just this loving poetry that the Lord wrote through John and, and just this, this vision of why he came and then it ties back to Isaiah 61, right?
The spirit of the Lord God is upon me and why did he come to, to free those who were bound and to heal the brokenhearted and to, to comfort those who mourn and like, how could you not? Want to believe in that God, right? Like not the one that’s like the punishing in the crowds that the world tries to tell you he is and all that stuff.
But the one that is core is the Von Heeler. And it just wants to come into your life and he wants to make it better. And he wants you to, to realize that he’s your friend and ultimately the best friend you will ever have in your life. Right. And. I don’t know. Sorry, I could go on and on. I’m supposed to be interviewing you instead of talking.
That’s beautiful. I love it. Dude, you’re speaking the truth. You’re speaking the truth, and you’re speaking from your heart. And, and I, I do think you’re absolutely right. This is, this is what life is all about. This is why Advent is such a incredible time that we’ve just started. You know, it’s an opportunity for us to come back to our senses again, right?
It’s just like, okay, let me just clear out the clutter and get, get quiet again. And that’s an important part of Advent is that we would actually make space. So I know it’s a busy time. I know there’s going to be like a thousand Christmas concerts and parties and gift buying and traffic’s going to be terrible.
And you can’t go into the store without, you know, probably getting frustrated, but Hey, what if we could be intentional and maybe even put it in our phone, you know, on our calendar, like I’m going to get quiet for 20 minutes, like before my day starts, or maybe at the end of my day, how it, whatever works, um, to just try to make some space.
Yeah. To reprioritize again. Yeah. And that’s the thing, folks. I mean, I, I know we’re all creatures of habit. Like you’re saying, we can get busy and we can say we don’t have time, but like you, when you do, if you can sit there and you can, and you can promise yourself, like for this Advent, I’m just going to take 10, 15, 20 minutes, whatever you can muster.
And I’m going to get intentional about being quiet and sitting with the Lord. And this book, Encountering Emmanuel, is a good way to do that because I know when I sit. Yeah. If I don’t have something to guide me, oftentimes I’m off to the races and my mind’s everywhere. And you get more frustrated. All right, Jesus, I gave you time.
And all I did was thinking about, you know, what’s coming on Netflix later or whatever, you know, and, and you get frustrated and you quit when, when in fact, like that’s, you’re giving in very easily to the evil one. Who’s trying to keep you from. That time, but to have something like this, that’s a guide for you.
And it’s, and it’s a disease, like you’re going on a journey. It’s not random stuff. You’re what you seem to have done here. Heather is to, to give people a place to start, to journey alongside of them. Uh, you know, gently. Uh, as a surgeon would maybe poking and prodding at a little places to, to make people feel something and know that there’s something there that needs to be looked at, but, but then to guide them through it.
Right. I mean, just like with the Lord, the Lord doesn’t come and go like, you know, come up and flick you and go, did that hurt? Good. You know, he’s there to, to point those things out and then to help comfort you in those places that you need comfort. So with this, um, you know, it’s, it’s, It’s day one, the first week, you know, to start on, um, the first of Advent.
If you didn’t have it, I’m sure you could take, you know, catch up pretty quickly, uh, through that there’s short meditations. But I see here, like you said, we have Jesus saves us and then Jesus make us, uh, makes us share in the divine life. What would you talk about that just for a minute? Like what you mean by Jesus makes us share in the divine life?
Because I think sometimes people hear that. And then they’re like, okay, what does that mean? Like divine life, like what does that mean? Am I going to start glowing? Am I going to levitate? Like, what does that mean? Wouldn’t that be awesome? Yeah, it would. Wouldn’t that be awesome? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, I think just simply a lot of the meditations in there are like the first one is he comes into a family.
Like that’s what it means to share in divine life. Jesus came so that he would take on flesh and that we could then become a Adopted sons and daughters of the Father, that we would be one with him, that Jesus is our brother, you know, like that’s crazy, like the Savior of the world, the one we were just talking about, that like did all those miracles in scripture, like he’s our brother, you know, like that’s some of the meditations as you, as you go through Advent, it’s like, this isn’t just a story, like this is real, this is really real.
And so, um, sharing in divine life also means that we have power. that has been bestowed on us in our baptism, and as sons and daughters of God, we have an inheritance, you know? So, we have divine power, the same power that raised Jesus from the dead lives in us, Scripture says. So, when we think about, oh man, I got, there’s so much I have to do, or like, this is so hard, it’s like, you’re not supposed to do it on your own power.
You actually can’t. So, we get to be dependent, uh. on God for who he is, because he wants to pour his very life into us. And he has just knit us together into his family. That’s, that’s powerful, but it’s also healing because it also means you belong. And I think for the, for at the core, for all of us, Oh my gosh, like I’m sure everybody listening to be like, Oh, let me tell you 10 stories off the top of my head of where I’ve been rejected.
Oh, yeah. Where I’ve been left out or where in my family there’s so much brokenness or where in relationships I’ve messed things up so badly that like now there’s just fracturing all over the place and to just know, hey, it was never meant to be that way. And the way back is Jesus. Jesus is the restorer of all the fractured pieces.
And one of those main places being fractured is family. And community, you know, and so it’s like, Hey, we have an opportunity like to receive from the family of God. So the places that have been broken for us, like God wants to fill those places with himself, with, with the family of the Trinity. Um, and then there’s a deep security that I think we can all experience that comes through that.
Like once we’re rooted in that place, There’s a lot of other things that we don’t need to depend on. We don’t need to prove ourselves, you know, to belong. And so those are some powerful themes that I think, again, we want to move beyond it just being an idea into an experience and something that we believe and something that we can go, no, I, I am a son of God.
I am a daughter of God. And that, that, that means something real to us. Yeah, and that’s a place we all have to go because if you if you ask most people who are you they I’m a doctor I’m a lawyer. I’m a police officer. I’m a this I’m a that and we’re we’re not identifying ourselves with the one thing That is actually our identity and it’s good.
So many of us don’t believe it and that’s the beauty of of these liturgical seasons Advent Lent, you know But it’s also the beauty of being able to journey through them looking for those answers, right? I mean, I I I know that one thing in my life that I struggle with a lot, and I still do, if I’m not careful, my wife’s very good at pointing it out for me, but, uh, is, is control, right?
Like I want to be in control and control is an illusion, right? And we fight against it so much because it’s just not something we’re supposed to have, right? Like that’s why it’s so difficult. And while we get angry and all these things and, The Lord wants to take that from us to, you know, you let go the steering wheel and you see that you’ve white knuckled the steering wheel.
So long you have arthritis, right? Like you just have been trying to control your life and the Lord wants to come into that. So. Yeah, and, and one thing about what you said here, and then we can start to kind of, uh, you know, just, just talk a little bit more about this as we go to close, um, about where people can find it and, um, all those things.
But, you know, to your point of, of, of not feeling seen and, and the Lord wants to come and restore, you know, we, Paul George and I, you’re another one of your friends did the restored men’s conference. The first one for the healing center last weekend, or yeah, two weeks ago. There was a guy that I was walking past when Paul was talking in the hallway.
It was just he and I, and he wouldn’t looking up at me, you know, and, and, and I just kind of walked by and the Lord moved my heart to tap him on the shoulder. And I just said, Hey, uh, I’m glad you’re here. And he kept walking and I kept walking and he came up at the end of the conference and he said, uh, He goes, why did you touch me and talk to me in the hallway?
And I was like, I don’t know if this guy, if I did something wrong or what, but I just, you know, Lord, give me the words to say. And I just said, I know what it’s like to be in places and not to feel seen, you know, not to feel seen and to feel like you don’t matter. And the guy just crumbled. He just buried his head in my chest, started sobbing.
And so many people are like that in the world. And, and to your point, this is what Jesus wants to show us is that he, yes, he came, but he still comes every day to meet us in those places and to, to journey with us. And it’s just such a powerful time, even, you know, here on the third day of Advent, right?
It’s, it’s not too late to start to pick up and folks, I mean, this is just a beautiful work by a person that has, you know, in Heather, that is, you know, She’s obviously told you here, some things that she’s been through and that she struggled with and, um, how the Lord has met her in those places. And, you know, we’re Catholic speakers and evangelists.
That doesn’t mean we’re fixed. Uh, we, we both still have those places the Lord wants to come into, but. I think for any of you out there that they’re looking for Advent to be more than just something on the calendar and the chocolates you eat every day and the purple and pink candles you put out that you really want something, uh, powerful to happen, that this is a wonderful place to start in this book that, that Heather is, um, you know, gifted the church with, uh, through her gifts that the Lord has given her.
So Heather, anything else you want to say about it or, or just invitation for people there as we come to close here, you’ve been really kind with your time. I want to honor it. Yeah. I mean, I love how Avi Maria lays out these books. One, we talked about this a little bit. It’s simple. There’s the reflections are like a page, a page in a little bit.
So I don’t know. Sometimes I don’t like feeling like I got homework and I’m just going to get way behind or whatever. So, so this is super easy. And then there’s brief prayers in here. Um, and then three, two or three like journaling questions that you can sit down with that you can ponder throughout the day.
There’s space to write them right here. So you don’t even have to get another book. Yeah. Uh, All of that I think is really intentional. Like some people might be like, I don’t journal or whatever, but, but maybe you might wanna try because it does actually help you to get below the surface and it gives you a little bit more time to ponder what’s going on.
And for some people you might be listening to John and I talking and go, whoa, I don’t have a whole bunch of stuff like this. Like, does everybody really need to be healed? Well, you know, like actually Pope Benedict talks about how healing is like the point of the whole Christian journey if you zoom out, you know, like that, that’s what it’s all about.
And, and maybe some of us. Just are unaware of the impact of certain things in our life. And it allows us time to be more self reflective, which I think we’re really lacking today because it’s so noisy all the time. So it’s like a great opportunity to get quiet. The other thing I love about this, because we’re talking about belonging and just people, you know, not being noticed and stuff like that.
There is a group guide that goes along with this for free that you can get on the Ave Maria press website that has, The prayer to open the questions for your group. It’s laid out so simply, you don’t even have to think about it. You just got to show up and invite some people so you can do it on, on zoom with a friend or, you know, at your house with a coffee or at the parish or whatever it might be.
And, and I think that that’s also a great opportunity for relationships to also go a bit deeper. Sometimes it’s hard to take those steps and be like, Oh, we’re going to talk about God and like our faith. Like that might feel a little weird with certain people. So the book kind of does it for you. It breaks the ice for you because, uh, the questions are right there.
You’re just answering a question, you know, instead of bringing it up yourself. So yeah, I think those are all valuable things. There’s little videos that go with it each week. We’re going to do it. Yeah. Companion videos. Yeah. And we’re going to do, we’re going to do Yeah, exactly. In our podcast, Abiding Together, we’re going to do it each week.
So even if you don’t have the book or you’re not going to get the book, you could just listen to the podcast and the discussion about it and then just ponder some things, um, and engage that way. So there’s a whole bunch of options and I know there’s lots of other books and options out there. And I would just say, don’t overwhelm yourself.
Just pick one thing and get quiet each day. And invite Jesus to come, you know, that’s the whole point. And I, I mean, I opened, uh, page 20. So in the first week and there’s three questions, I mean, what is the one place in your life right now where you’re not free? Where, what do you desire Jesus to do about that?
And what is holding you back from stepping into freedom? And I mean, that’s simple questions, but very, very powerful and very thought provoking. And folks that’s what you’re going to find in this. And The Lord, uh, the Lord wants to lead us back to him and that’s what this season is for. And I personally can’t wait to dive into this book.
I’m going to, uh, probably have to buy another one cause I’m gonna have to arm wrestle my wife for it every day. I would imagine. So, uh, I’m going to get another one. In fact, I’m headed over to the Catholic bookstore here in a minute after this. So I’m going to pick up another copy and folks, I mean, Heather, you’re, you’re a gift to the church.
And so folks, if you, if this is your first, um, encounter with Heather, if this is the first time you’ve ever heard, Um, who she is or what she does, uh, do yourself a favor and look further into the work that she’s a part of at abiding together and, um, through her life restoration ministries with Jake, her husband, and, uh, so many other things.
So Heather, like, I want you to just spend the last couple of minutes here, just telling people where they can find more about you, how I know you speak. So if you want to, you know, talk to about how people can book you to maybe for a mission or for an event at the church, please, please feel free to. Thank you so much, John.
Yeah. Uh, so I I’m personally on Instagram quite a bit, or Facebook, but mostly Instagram. Um, our podcast is abidingtogetherpodcast. com. That’s with Sister Miriam James Hyland and our friend, Michelle. And then, uh, Yeah, our ministry, my husband and I have is called life restoration and people life restoration.
ca so they can look us up there and Jake has a great podcast as well called restore the glory that he does with Dr. Paul, our good friend. And, and so, yeah, just even people who are like, I really want to learn more about what is it, what is healing all about and stuff like that. That’s a, that’s a great resource for people as well.
Yeah. All right. Well, Heather, um, you know, I really appreciate your time. It’s just a joy to call you a friend and to get here and to sit, sit here to get to sit here with you and talk about things that a lot of people don’t talk about, you know, wounds and healing and, and just this invitation that the Lord has for us this Advent.
So, uh, thank you for coming on. Thank you for taking the time. I hope we get to, to actually be in the same place sometime to get to spend some time and maybe grab some of those blessings. Beers and hot wings, but then we were, we were joking around about, but, uh, the best to you and your family. And, uh, if we don’t talk again, Merry Christmas and happy advent to you.
Yeah. Thank you. You too. And John, I do want to say like you also are a great gift. Especially to men. I think what you’re modeling with just vulnerability and openness and your heart that just desires God, you know, you, you have a heart that is like burning for Christ and I can see that. And I know that that’s a great witness to a lot of men in particular.
So thank you for what you’re doing to build the kingdom. Yeah. It’s a joy. I mean, I think he would say the same thing that Jesus Christ did something for me that I couldn’t do for myself. And so, uh, you know, the response is to do whatever he asked. Right. And so what we try to do the best of our ability, we don’t always get it right, but we try the best we can.
So, but Heather, thank you so much for the kind words and, and, uh, I will be praying for y’all again. Thank you for your time. And folks go out. I’ll Uh, to Ave Maria Press, or I believe Dr. Bob has it on his website there at the JP2 Healing Center, I believe. Amazon has it. Just go out and grab this book and make sure that you are journeying with the Lord through Advent.
Thank you again, Heather. Thanks so much. All right. God bless.