This episode is for anyone who feels like they’re silently carrying the weight of the world—brokenness, shame, or wounds you’ve never been able to share. You’re not alone, and you don’t have to carry it by yourself anymore.

Last weekend, the JPII Healing Center hosted the first-ever Restored Men’s Healing Conference, and it was powerful. Men from all over the country (and even other countries!) showed up with open hearts, some for the very first time. These were men who had been silently suffering for years—dealing with wounds from abandonment, addiction, rejection, or just feeling like they’re not enough. Over the weekend, we watched God work in incredible ways as men opened up, shared their stories, and allowed Christ to step into those broken places. It was humbling and hopeful.

In this episode, Victor and I unpack some of the key takeaways from the conference and dive deep into the struggles many of us face but rarely talk about. We’ll cover why we feel like we need to hide our pain, how self-reliance is a trap, and most importantly, how God’s grace can reshape the broken parts of our lives.

Here’s the truth: Healing is possible. You can start today. You don’t have to have it all figured out; you just have to take one step forward. Let’s talk about how.

PS – Advanced giving with #igivecatholic on #givingtuesday is now LIVE 🚨

You can give today. Your support creates safe, transformative spaces for men in need. 👉 https://bit.ly/40TfJHs

  Well, welcome back to the pew everybody. I am your host, John Edwards. And here across the table from me as always is my co host and cohort, Victor Adams. John, happy, um, I guess Tuesday, right? Yeah. Happy Tuesday. Yeah. That’s exactly when it’s going to go. And, uh, I will, I want to congratulate you because I knew you had an intense planning period for the, uh, JP two healing conference.

Yeah. Um, that you were planning for, and it happened already. Yeah. So for those that were there, who listens to us and drove all the way there to be part of it, I know you want to give updates for everyone listening. Sure. Yeah. And first of all, I’ll give a shout out to like Mark Huss and Tim Lair and some of the other folks that listened to us that came from around the country.

I mean, it was an amazing conference up at Christ the King in Ann Arbor, uh, Ralph Martin and Peter Herbeck’s parish got to go over to Domino farms and renewal ministries and Ave Maria radio did several shows there, but. Uh, Mark Huss and Tim came from like Erie and, and Tim and Mark came from, uh, California.

I think we had like men from 10 or 12 different states and two countries or something like that. That joined us. And so, uh, yeah, I did it. I don’t know, but yeah, it was great. You know, we have people all the way from Florida everywhere. So it was an awesome conference. I just want to say thank you to Mark and Tim, both those guys support the ministry and they’re always, uh, just there.

And Mark was sitting front and center. So shout out to you, Mark, for being there and, and for, uh, taking the time off work to be there and say thank you, Tim and every other guy that was there. So we’re going to talk about that conference today and just, you know, Going to talk about silent suffering men, because I really saw a lot of that.

I mean, we see it every day in our ministry, but, uh, there was just something really special that we’re on this weekend and I was really proud to be a part of it alongside with Paul George and, you know, to, to kind of put this vision, Dr. Bob had out into the world. And, uh, I think it went well the first time we can’t wait to do the next ones.

But before we jump into the episode and start talking about what we’re going to talk about today, uh, I just wanted to remind everybody that. Uh advanced giving for giving tuesday. I give catholics giving tuesday started yesterday, november the 18th on monday So it is now live you can give to uh this ministry at any time now for I give catholic and folks Let me tell you it’s really needed because right now we are trying to raise the money to be able to do two things.

One, to bring on a missionary, to be able to train, to go out and do the work. Cause it is just evident that my life is getting more and more busy with a lot of different things, whether it’s working in healing ministry with the JP two healing center, or just our work with diocese and parishes. I mean, we have a wait list for all of that work.

We need to bring on some folks and start with one. You got to start with one. to train, to go out and to do these missions and to launch these groups so that we can get to more of the people that are waiting for us to help them. So, uh, I traveled a whole lot. I mean, over 40 times this year, I think. And, uh, you know, that’s, I want to be a good husband and father in the midst of this ministry, right?

I don’t want to be telling everybody else to be a good husband and father and then never be home. So, uh, my first vocation is obviously to my wife and children. Uh, the second is to this, uh, ministry. So. I want to bring on other people. It was never supposed to be about me. It was supposed to be about bringing on other people that could go on and keep this thing going if something should happen to me Or or just someday when god tells me I can sit down for a little bit, right?

So we’re raising money for that The second thing is too we’re wanting to build an online restoration and discipleship platform uh where we can build courses and and uh And just content for men to be able to go through to keep walking in that journey towards virtue and holiness towards being a better husband brother, father and son.

So we put them in groups where they can be in community and all those things. But then the men can use these to continue to grow with the group or on their own. So those are the things that we’re looking at doing right now. But those things take money and just hiring somebody alone is an expensive task and you have to be able to help someone support their family.

So folks, we’re trying to raise 50, 000. That’s our goal for this giving Tuesday. And so like I said giving started yesterday advance giving the actual giving tuesday day is december the third But you have from now until then to be able to support us if you’d like to Folks, there’s a lot of people that have been helped by this podcast They’ve told me or by our events or just the other things that we’re doing right the other videos or conferences and things like that We’ve been on so i’m just asking you all to consider giving so we can continue to grow this ministry And we can help other men that need it and the way that you may have needed it at some point in your life so Folks, if you want to give to us on Giving Tuesday, there will be a link in the show notes below that’ll click.

You can click and go straight to our I Give Catholic webpage for Pew Ministries. You can donate there, or you can donate on DonorBox. org. sp, our regular donation platform. Both of them count, and both of them will help you. We’ll, uh, we’ll go towards our goal of 50, 000 no matter where you give, so you can go to one or the other.

Go to our website and click donate, or you can go in the show notes or any of our social media feeds here this week, and you’ll see plenty of places where you can give through I Give Catholic. So folks, thank you for listening to that. It is a huge ask. It’s a big goal, but I know we have plenty of people that listen and plenty of people that have been, the Lord has helped, uh, through this ministry.

And so. Just really praying and hoping that we can pick up the support. We need Victor to do what we need to do to move forward. So thank you for that. Um, also we will be traveling again in the beginning of the year. So go to our website. Uh, we are off from any more traveling for the end of the year. So we’ll get to spend some time here, the holidays with family, but, uh, We’re back at it in January through May and we have openings all through the midway and latter half of 2025 and into 2026.

If you’re looking to start a group, to have a mission, or to bring the Restored Men’s Healing Conference to your parish, just let us know by going to JustAgainstThePew. com and clicking the Book Me tab. And signing up or filling out the form there and we’ll get with you. All right, Vic. So let’s jump into it.

So we’ve been talking about the conference, obviously spent the last few minutes talking a little bit about that. And it was a huge experience, man. It was just awesome. You know, I think there was 150 or so men in attendance and about 30 or 40 online. So 200 for the first, very first one, which was awesome.

I think our goal was trying to hit at least a hundred, um, you know, for the event. And that happened. It was at a very charismatic Paris, one of the designated charismatic Paris’s in the country. And, you know, great people like Peter Herbeck and Ralph Martin and Pete Burak and Dr. Mary Healy. That’s the parish that a lot of them.

Uh, you know, work in and attend and, uh, and it’s just a very wonderful parish. And so going into it, Paul and I were both a little nervous, right? It’s the first time we’ve done it. You’re going into a parish. It’s pretty formed and pretty amazing, especially in the charismatic movement of healing and those things.

But man, I got to tell you, it was a grace. It was, it was just a real grace. And as we got started, you know, Paul let off the first night I emceed when he was speaking, he emceed when I was speaking. So Thursday night, we took men through the four stages of salvation history. So Paul did, uh, you’re a good man.

So starting with creation and the fact that we were made good, and we went through that. And then Friday night I did, you’re a broken man, which as everyone knows, and you included, I’ve got a PhD in brokenness. But, um, you know, we let everybody through that and into confession and adoration. And then Saturday we finished up with Paul in the morning with your redeemed man, you know, Christ has come to redeem us.

And then I finished up the day and the conference with, uh, becoming a restored man. So it’s really in the vein of what we do here all the time and it was great to get to work with Paul. But it’s so funny because after the first night so many men walked up to Paul and I and they were like Dude, this is completely different than what I thought it was going to be.

I thought this was going to be another like You know, grab your sword and go out there and man up and pull yourself up by your bootstraps and be a man and all that kind of stuff. And I was like, well, are you disappointed? And they’re like, no, this is what we need. Like I’ve needed something like this. I’m tired of making the same mistakes.

I’m tired of living the same way. I’m tired of returning like a dog to my vomit, if you will. And I need something, the man up, the pull yourself up by your bootstrap just doesn’t work. I’ve been trying to do all this alone and, and it’s not working in my life. And so it was really cool to get to hear that.

And I got to tell you as, as the conference went on and on, we just continued to, to have men come up to us and just share like their brokenness, right? I, I, you know, I spoke about, you know, my being molested when I was younger, which I never really speak about. When I’m at events, but the Lord worked in my heart to do that.

And there were so many men that came up and like me too, I was molested by my father or my uncle or my mother’s boyfriend or some other thing. And, you know, guys just weeping right there because they’ve never admitted it before. Um, Paul talked about his brokenness, uh, and, and his, you know, mother putting him in a U Haul and leaving and not knowing where his father was and all this stuff and having, she having different relationships with men growing up and, you know, And never really feeling safe and abandoned and all that stuff.

And so there’s a lot of people coming up and talking about abandonment wounds and drug addiction, of course, with my story, pornography, all of those things. And it was just, it was crazy to see how many men reacted to this and just received like, no, I want to know how to be vulnerable. I want to know how to share this and I want to get this out.

I want to know how to be better. I want to know how to forgive. And so that’s what we saw in the conference. And. You know, it just reminded me how much men are convicted of their shame and their brokenness. I mean, one guy in particular, he came up and, and he was like, your, your talk really meant something to me.

And he was just standing there and all of a sudden this tear just started. He didn’t start crying. A tear just rolled out of his eye. And he just, I said, what’s going on. And you know, he told me I, I was married, but I’m living with another woman right now and my wife sent me here. My, my wife actually told me I need to go to this conference while he’s living with another woman.

And like, It’s just crazy how the grace of god works and all these guys had stories like that and it just it was so Powerful man To to see this and even we had small groups and you know How hard it is to get guys to start talking in small groups even when they know each other But these guys didn’t know each other we sent them into small groups the second night or the first night And they were coming back going like, I can’t believe how much stuff guys are sharing.

Like guys are really opening up and sharing. So it’s just a grace filled event, but it reminded me how many men are out there with a smile on their face, silently suffering every day, right? They look fine from the outside looking in. They seem to have everything, the tiger by the tail, but inside they’re a broken mess.

And this is what we continue to see in the world for men in the church and, and through the relationships that we have with men in our own group. And we see around the world. Right. I think, you know, when we talk about spiritual intimacy, we think of as like the, the grand, like the large community, but really how did their early church really start by like small groups, people in small homes, you know, or in the catacombs, like a small gathering of people where they, they worked together.

They, they ate together, they spoke together, they worshiped together and they shared each other’s burdens. Yeah. I mean, and, and I think this is kind of like, An allegory, but also kind of like a message to a lot of us in the traditional worship style where we just go on Sunday We receive the Eucharist, which is great for our healing, you know But the also things we forget to be part of a community of faith Because we go there and we may see people and say hey, how’s it going?

We got to go off, you know, gotta go to lunch all stuff plans for the rest of the day But what I what I love about what we do In this ministry, is that we tap into men and women too, because it’s a platform that can be, you know, utilized for both. But it allows them to kind of really open up and find out that there’s a lot of things that they never talked about, that they’re fearful to share, that they had no idea that what they’re holding on to, the secrets of the trauma, really is still holding on to them.

You know, and not able to be free or feel free. Um, and sometimes we negotiate these, these emotions where like, you know, well, I’m old now. I don’t know why I keep dealing with this. Why is this such an issue for me? But whenever you speak in front of somebody else, that’s why confession is so important.

Yeah. When you speak to a priest in the persona of Christ, Yeah. What you’re doing is not talking to the priest. You’re talking to Christ in the sense of like verbal admittance. Yeah. God, forgive me. God, help me. God, you know. Help me understand why this is happening in my life and you’re admitting it exists, right?

You’re meaning it exists And and I think that’s why those groups are so important because we’re all admitting that that we we put on this persona That everything’s fine. Everything’s okay We have many of our topics are like this it shows that we we go through the world trying to emulate somebody else but not Be okay with ourselves.

Yeah Yeah, and we’re constantly stripping off, we want to strip off those masks, but we’re constantly putting them on because so many men are afraid that people are going to abandon them. Like I’m going to lose things or people are going to think I’m gross or disgusting and like even God looks at me that way.

I mean, I can’t tell you how many people came up and talked about their father wounds. Like, That they just felt like there was no way god could love them one guy like paul asked, uh in his uh, You’re a good man talk He said I want you to close your eyes and go back to a time where you have a memory where everything was good like maybe when you’re a kid and you had no worries and no concerns and And there were men that came up that said like I tried to remember one good memory in my life And I don’t have one right like I try to remember one thing Point in my life where I felt I was good or that things were good and I don’t have one.

I can’t think of anything and can you imagine going your whole life like thinking? You’ve never been good. You never will be. There were never any good moments in your life. Any of those things, you never felt peace or love or joy, right? If it was, it was fleeting, right? And that’s where that brokenness comes in and steals that joy and that happiness.

And that innocence, you know, innocence from the fall, it comes in and it robs us of those things. I remember, like I’ve mentioned my kid that molested me, man. Like that was a moment. That robbed me of my innocence. And there was a lot of moments like that, but in different ways. But the thing is like we, you start to build this false identity of yourself inside, like I’m not good enough and I don’t deserve to be loved and I’m broken and I need to be discarded and I need to be thrown away and, and I just, no one will ever love me and I need to be here by myself and, and just deal with this.

This is what life is. It’s just torture and pain and, and, and, and anxiety and worry and all this stuff. And it doesn’t have to be like that. Like that’s why Christ came. But so many guys don’t believe that they even deserve a chance. to be healed, to be restored. And you know, there was a couple of guys like, and here’s the thing, like when you, when you, when you’re trapped in that, like what is the response of a lot of men?

They get sick and tired of not knowing how to fix themselves, right? Of not knowing how to get better. So they lean in to trying to, Oh, uh, you know, overcome that inadequacy. So like, okay, I feel inadequate. So I’m going to be arrogant and aggressive. This is where a lot of the toxic masculinity stuff that they throw around the world comes from when men are actually acting out of their woundedness and their brokenness, and they’re trying to overcompensate.

And then they become just, just these, these guys that are living out of pain that want to hurt other people or. That don’t care if other people are hurt because they feel like I’ve been hurt my whole life And I want retribution or other people should feel what I feel and so i’m gonna be this toxic man Man, when so the pendulum swings the other way and men act out of that and they overcompensate that way When the real path to, to becoming the man you want to be and getting through this stuff is actually that vulnerability is that opening up and not trying to be this big bravado John Wayne, I don’t need anybody or anything or this very, you know, overly masculine toxic personality.

But being a man who’s willing to just to admit that brokenness and open up, you know, go ahead. Well, I’m just saying, you know, again, this is the movies come to my head when you’re saying this, like, uh, for those that watch Wall Street, you know, Gordon Gekko, Michael Douglas and, um, Charlie Sheen, who played Bud Fox.

So there’s a, there’s a quote in this movie that I just, at the end where, you know, Charlie Sheen is trying to do everything he can to emulate this Gordon Gekko guy who, you know, has, uh, All the power and the wealth and the privilege and just like, just like the praise wherever it goes. But yet what he does, he destroys companies.

He destroys livelihoods. He does it to make a profit. And the whole thing is greed is good. You know, greed is what fuels the capitalism societies of America. This is what gets you your raise. This is what gets you your car, you know, like somebody had to lose a job to get you. For you to get more money.

Sure. So, so he, he does his gospel greed, and so therefore he, he starts torturing this young man, Charlie Sheen’s mind and saying, you know what? My dad’s a great guy. He’s told me to respect people and stuff, but you know, I’m gonna follow this guy because he, he knows it, you know? Yeah. And so, you know, uh, uh, bud, you know, just follows him along and his dad’s saying, what’s going on?

You know? Yeah. You, you’re not yourself who you become. Yeah. Right. You become, and then at the end he says, you know. Um, you know, I realized Gordon was Gordon and I was just Bud Fox. I’m just Bud Fox. There’s only one of me. And that’s what we’re, you know, that’s what Christ says, says, I created you for reason, you know, I created you to do something not for this other person.

You know, things are just, he, this person is something different. Yeah. You know, we, we, we, we get this trap where we try to. Emulate others that we, that we look up to and stuff, you know, and it’s okay to, to kind of like grasp some, like, you know, virtues that they have in their lives and to be better, but not to be mere images of them because we lose the gift that we’re unique to it.

Yeah. And especially if it’s not the right person to be emulating, right? Like that’s, that’s the thing. Like I was saying, the pendulum swings and a lot of times we go to look and we say, well, okay, well, who looks like. You know, they’re happy who looks like they’re not hurting. What do they have? Oh, well, they’ve got cars and money in the house and fame and you know accolades and tortured souls Yeah, right And so they’re putting on masks too And what it is that we start to self medicate all that stuff is self medicating whether you’re using alcohol drugs porn work Success the number of zeros in your bank account for men Oftentimes we turn the wrong way because we’ve been told our whole life that you know Anything other than that, just put your head down and forget about it.

Forget about those wounds. Forget about those pains. Just put your head down and get past it. Well, the thing is we never get past them. They linger there. We’ve done nothing to heal them. So they sit there open in there and they just hurt. And so we keep doing all this stuff and then we’re swinging in the wrong way.

And the thing is we keep silent about it too. You know, this is just who I am. No, it’s not like you weren’t always like that. There was a time when you were good, right? There was a time where, where everything was good and there was innocence and, and your desire was to be a good and holy person. Right. But what happens is when we live in these wounds and stuff, that brokenness overshadows all that stuff that happened before.

And we lose sight of that. And we start to silently suffer, right? We’re guys that are just in so much pain. And I showed an image during the, uh, the event that is a hand drawing that bill Donahue sent me one time that he found somewhere, but it’s a guy and it’s a silhouette and he’s smiling and you can see from the side of his head.

And in it shows like his brain, like just a circle where his brain would be. And while you see this smile and the guy’s a good looking guy, it just looks like he’s got the world by the tail, smiling insides, a little boy with his hands on his legs and a teddy bear in his hand, sitting there with his head down.

basically saying, this isn’t real. This is a facade inside. He’s a scared, broken little boy. And you could have heard the hush over the crowd when I showed that, like everybody was like, Oh, because it hit home. Like that’s how I feel. Right. And so men are silently suffering and I’ll give you another example.

I was there. Uh, I don’t remember what night it was, but I was coming around the back of the church and going into the hallway to go to the restroom or go back to the green room or something, the speaker room. And, uh, two separate times I was walking down the hall and Paul, it must’ve been when Paul was talking or something was going on ’cause everybody was still in there.

Just me and this one guy walking down the hall twice. Two different guys. Mm-Hmm. and, you know, not looking up at me. Uh, I’m, I’m sure they saw me coming in, but they weren’t looking up at me. And so as I walked by, just said, Hey, you know, how you doing? I’m glad you’re here. And put my hand on their shoulder.

Just tapped them and kept walking. And they kept walking too. And this happened with two different guys. So at the end of the event. You know, Paul and I are standing there. We’re, we’re waiting for mass, you know, before we go to the airport to go home and guys are coming up wanting to, you know, Hey, thank you for what you did here and what are the resources or how do I follow your podcast?

That kind of stuff. And this young man comes up and he looks right at me and he goes, can I ask you a question? And I said, yeah. And he goes last night in the hallway, you walked by and you just, you spoke to me and touched me on the shoulder. Why did you do that? And I was like, I don’t, I can’t tell this guy’s agitated.

Like you touched me or whatever. Right. Or anything, but I just, uh, all of a sudden I felt the Lord in the spirit moved me to say, you know, because I know what it’s like to be somewhere and to not be seen for people not to see you. And all of a sudden this guy just started bawling and put his head in my chest and he just, he’s like, can I, will you, can you hug me?

And I just held this guy and there’s like six other dudes standing around and they start crying. And then the other guy comes up and basically says the same thing, like, Hey. You know, you won’t buy me there night and you touched me. Why did you do that? Same thing. And he starts crying and man, it just goes to show that like so many people are such slaves to the mistakes they’ve made, to the things that have happened to them.

They have no way out. They’re silently suffering. And that’s why healing ministry for men is important. That’s why this ministry that we have is important to start these groups, Victor, because the world would tell you that vulnerability is, is feminine. It’s not masculine. It’s it’s, it makes you weak.

Right. And that there’s no way you’re going to find your way out of the pain and the torture and the loss and all that stuff there, but that’s exactly what Jesus wants to use, right? It’s what he wants to use. It’s, he came here to break himself, right? So that we could be broken open and tell the truth in our lives that we could suffer alongside him, but also experienced the resurrection that comes when we vulnerably open up to everything the way that he did on the cross.

And so I saw that this weekend with men and, you know, it’s so funny, like, I found some quotes that go along with it, like St. Faustina, she says, In a difficult moment, I will fix my gaze upon the silent heart of Jesus, stretched upon the cross, and from the exploding flames of his merciful heart, will flow down my power and strength to keep fighting.

Right? That’s, it’s all about Christ and what he wants to do for us. And Thomas Merton says, I will not fear, for you are ever with me, and you will never leave me to face my perils alone. You know, another, another Catholic great there. And then St. John Paul, the second, like he really speaks into this. And I use this quote during the presentation, but he says in the end, it is the hunger for God.

And this is what you’re talking about with the dude from. From, uh, from the movie Wall Street. Yeah. It’s a jump. All the second says in the end is the hunger for God that consumes the human being without the comfort, which comes from God. Mankind is abandoned to himself, always in need and without the true source of life.

And this is why Christ came and Victor, so many of these men, they were sitting there and they’re like, I’m irredeemable, right? Like how I can’t be fixed. I, I need to be discarded. I don’t deserve any forgiveness. I don’t deserve restoration or redemption. Yeah. But you don’t get to tell Jesus that, right.

And we see it in the scriptures again and again and again. And I want to get into a couple of places in particular that Paul talked about that I think would be helpful. But I mean, I know you probably haven’t heard a thought or two. Well, well, we, we look at ourselves in a mirror, we see smudges, you don’t see crystal clear lines of who we are because we, we, we don’t want.

To see certain things, you know, or we, we miss see them because, uh, of our false identity of ourselves. We’re not worthy. I’m not worthy. I’m, I’m an imposter, you know, I walk around and people think I’m great, but I am just broken inside more than so than these people. And they want to, I’m teaching them, I’m leading them, you know, it’s kind of those things where insecurities and inadequacies.

That we just develop over time because we want to be fit in. We want to be seen. And, uh, sometimes, you know, we say things like, Oh my gosh, does that make sense? Yeah. Do you understand what I’m saying? Or do I, am I just falsifying something that I said two years ago? You know, um, and, and I think we all, I won’t, I don’t say I think I know we all struggle with that because I do, we do, you, you know, we talk about this all the time.

You know, I have imposter syndrome that if, if, The only the only medicine is is my faith. Yeah, that’s where I am gonna say more cowbell No, but but you know this that would be great if it was cowbell, you know cowbell, right? But but like for me I have to continue in my prayer. I have to continue saying the rosary.

I have to continue saying chaplains to divine mercy chaplains to like just kind of have myself more faithful in what I’m supposed to do and be more aware of what I’m doing and being careful that I don’t harm anyone along the way. It’s a, it’s interesting to say that. Cause I went to confession today and like my penance was the divine mercy chaplet.

So it’s interesting you say that, but, but yeah, like we, The thing is, we, we don’t, there’s nothing you can do to make God ever not love you, right? Like God doesn’t take you and wad you up and throw you away and say, okay, I’ll just make somebody else to your point. He makes you for a reason you’re here for a purpose.

And when we’re living in that brokenness and that pain, and we’re wallowing around in all of it. We never have the opportunity to live up to our potential and therefore we’re not serving God in the way that we’re called to serve. That’s why it’s so important to heal. One, we have to understand in our heart that Christ loves us, that he came for us and that he would have done it if it was only us, right?

And he wants to redeem us to restore and to heal these places of brokenness, to take us to his father so we can have our identity restored. That’s what’s happened to you and me right now. We were a constant work in progress, right? It’s a life of conversion. It’s not a one time thing. But you’re constantly being restored and renewed and the thing is so many people In the protestants a lot of times they talk about well christ came and he redeemed us with a the once saved always saved on The cross and while yes that opened the door for us to be reconciled to the father And he defeated sin and death there as catholics.

We believe that we in the beautiful part of the faith is that we’re always a work in progress, that we’re constantly growing and walking in the light of Christ, right? Trying to redeem it. So Christ doesn’t redeem us in just one moment, as Paul was talking about in his talk. He doesn’t just redeem us in one moment, He redeems us every minute that we allow Him.

When we, when He comes into those wounds and those places that we have a fist wrapped around, Christ redeems always, right? He’s always at the door waiting to go, let me go into that. Let me help you through that. Right. And it’s painful. We don’t want to, but he wants to remodel us. And I think it’s funny in Genesis, you know, what are we made out of?

We’re made of clay. And Paul talked about this as well. You know, God picks up clay. It says in the Lord form man of the dust of the ground. So clay, right. And then he breathed life into us. So we’re made of this clay and what, what can clay do? It can be molded and shaped. And if, if it’s, you know, the Potter or someone making a clay jar, if, if, if it gets out of whack when they’re making it.

If it’s wet and it’s pliable and it’s, and it’s malleable, they can, they can just start over and build it a new. And that one defect or that one, um, miscue doesn’t, or the couple of miscues doesn’t disqualify that clay from being valuable, right? And God doesn’t throw it out. You see in Jeremiah, as Paul also talked about too, on the retreat, on a Jeremiah 18.

He talks about this, the word that came to Jeremiah from the Lord, arise and go down to the potter’s house and there I will let you hear my words. So I went down to the potter’s house and there he was working at his wheel and the vessel he was making of clay was spoiled in the potter’s hand and he reworked it into another vessel as it seemed good to the potter to do.

And then it says, then the word of the Lord came to me, O house of Israel, can I not do with you as this potter has done, says the Lord, behold, like the clay in the potter’s hand. So are you in my hand, O house of Israel. So what he’s talking about here is like, the potter didn’t discard the clay. God doesn’t throw you out.

God starts again and starts to renew and remodel. And that’s what he does every time we go to confession or every time we let him come into a wound, right? He comes into that space. And he says, no, no, no, like, yes, this was terrible what you did or what happened to you. But we can bring good out of this. We can reshape this.

We can use this to help you become the man you want to be. Your mistakes and your things don’t define you, the love of God does, and His hand’s working in us always. And then finally, you see, the third example about the clay that Paul used is, is Christ in the New Testament. In John, I think it’s chapter 9.

With a blind man, he sees him and what does Jesus do? He gets dirt and he spits into it and he makes clay and he rubs clay on the man’s eyes So this defect he had from birth this this part of him that was aka broken christ takes new clay He takes more clay and remakes it and the guy’s eyes are open and he’s healed That’s what he wants to do in our lives when he remakes us is to remodel it to We let him in we starts to reshape those places in us that are broken And that was the point of this conference is like these silent sufferers out there.

There’s hope right? There’s hope because christ can do anything and he can remake us that he wants to remold the clay that we are And so we have to remember that Christ makes all things new and that’s what I saw these men the hope and the light shining in these men’s eyes is like there’s finally a way and we’re able to give them all these resources and Hopefully a lot of them are listening to us right now in this first episode from the weekend to continue that healing journey right and it just There is so much silence silence suffering going on out there guys suffering in silence, but there doesn’t have to be and so Let’s talk about that real quick.

Like how twos, like how, okay, John, well, how do I even start the process? Like, I hear what you’re saying about the clay and I want to believe that. And part of it is you got to get tired of trying everything else. Right? Like if you got to realize like nothing else I’m doing is working. The drinking makes things worse.

The drugs makes things worse. The porn makes things worse. The putting my head down and work and staying away from my family and all this other stuff and hiding in these things makes it worse. Every mask that I put on makes it heavier and a more of a larger burden to bear, to bear. Right? None of that works.

So we got to quit living out the definition of crazy, which is doing the same thing again and again and expecting different results. Right? It’s time now to actually start saying, you know what, I’m going to give Christ a chance and not a half hearted chance, but to open up and to admit that brokenness in your life, those places of struggle, first of all, to yourself, to God, and then to others.

And so you have to start believing that God is bigger than what you’re carrying, right? And that he could do anything and that he has, right? Fresh clay in his hands right there to fix what’s broken and to heal what needs to be healed. You have to start preaching the truth that you’re a beloved son, right?

It’s about identity. You have to stop identifying with your mistakes and your failures and your faults and the things that have been done to you and the things that are wrong. You have to start going back and believing that you’re a beloved son. So go and read Jesus baptism and listen to God say, this is my beloved son with whom I’m well pleased and start to realize it’s you.

In John 17, Jesus says, I came, I want, I pray not only for those, but those who will come to know me through their word that they will be with me where I’m going. Where does Christ want to go? To the Father. Where is Christ gone? To the Father. Back to the Father. And He wants us to go with Him. So He comes to redeem us, to mold us with that fresh clay, to take us to the Father to restore our identity.

So you have to take part in that by starting to preach the truth, even if you don’t believe it to yourself that you’re a beloved son of God, you’re not a lawyer, a doctor, or a scumbag because of the things that you’ve done wrong, or any of that stuff. It’s not what you do that defines you. That’s not your identity.

It’s who you are, and it’s your identity. At your core, you’re a beloved son of God. You’re an heir to the throne. You’re an heir to the kingdom. And so, three, you have to allow Christ to truly to come into those places that you’re ashamed of. You have to open up. You have to do everything that’s contrary to what you feel and open up.

To him, to yourself, and to others. Uh, you have to take every negative thought captive. Start there. When those thoughts from the evil come and he’s going to because he sees you starting to change, and so he’s like, nope. You’re a piece of garbage. Remember this? Remember what you watched the other night?

Remember what you said to that person? Remember how you treated your wife? Remember whatever you did in your life that you’re ashamed of? That’s who you are. And in that moment, you have to take that thought captive as St. Paul says, and take it to Jesus. No, I’m not. Jesus, please be here with me. Fight my battles.

Give me the strength. Father, help me remember who I am. You’re beloved father, and I’m your beloved son. And then you need to find community and accountability. You know, we’ve started groups over the country. One of the things we’re going to do next year is start listing those groups on the website. So if you live near somewhere, I had the guy from Florida.

Uh, he was from Jacksonville and I said, dude, do you have a group? And he’s like, no, only friends I have aren’t Catholic. And that’s part of my problem. And I said, I just started a group a year ago at holy family in Jacksonville. And you need to go see them. And so I’m putting them in contact with each other.

He’s going to go there and he’s going to have a place to belong now. And now he was at this healing thing through the JP two center, but because of the other work we do, there’s networks all over this country where men can plug in. And if there’s not, then guys, you can start this on your own. I was a broken guy with no idea what I was doing and look at what we’re doing now.

So God can use you. And then finally, you need to remember that God’s not going to abandon you ever. He’s never gonna abandon you. He’s never going to be too disgusted with you. Just like when, when my children or your children do something, Victor, that you’re not like the happiest with, or maybe you’re disappointed in, you’re disappointed, but you’re not ready to go.

All right, Ella, grab your stuff and hit the bus. Right? You’re not, there’s nothing they could ever do to make you stop loving them. And so God is never going to stop loving us either. We just have to quit suffering in silence. We have to muster the courage that’s found in Christ through the Eucharist, through the confessional to finally say, I’m not okay.

I’m not okay. And to admit it, it doesn’t mean you’re a failure. It doesn’t mean you’re too broken to fix. It just means that you’re finally voicing the truth in your life. And the person that can help you with that is the truth himself, Jesus Christ. So victor any final thoughts here as we kind of head out of the show?

No, like I said, just if this resonates with you if this this show Um that you’re like nodding your head long you’re going. Oh my gosh. This is this is what I need to hear Um, find a community, go online, email us if there’s, if you don’t know where there’s a community near you, maybe there is, you know, like John just said, but also really dive deep into your faith, you know, say a rosary tonight, you know, open your, your Bible, you know, start with the gospel of John, really dive deep and saying, you know, I really want to know you, Lord.

I’ve, I’ve ran from you. I’ve, I’ve ignored you. I’ve, I’ve done everything to kind of like put you on, on the shelf and say, I’ll come back to you when I’m ready. Today’s you, you’re ready. Yeah. And that’s the thing. I mean, like you’re saying, I even Google versus, I mean, that’s how we find stuff for the show.

It’s like, all right. We’re talking about brokenness. What does the Bible say about brokenness? Well, today, Psalm 94 and 14, the Lord will not reject his people. He will not abandon his special possession. Matthew 28, 20, Jesus, I am with you always to the close of the age. Right? How? In the Eucharist. John 14, 18, I will not leave you desolate.

I will come to you. These are the things when I’m feeling down, I do. I go, what does God say about loneliness? What does God say about addiction? What does God say about this? Or what does the Bible say? And then I go in there and I read it. And I sit with it because that is a love letter. The Bible is a love letter to each and every one of us from a loving father and his loving son who gave everything for us.

And this is a reminder of why he did it. He doesn’t want us to sit in our pain and our brokenness. He wants to be, he wants to redeem us and restore us. And he wants to do that in every place of our life. So for those of you out there, um, that may be, as Victor said, struggling. Start to put in some of these things, uh, into play, listen to this episode again, sit with it, pray with it.

Ask Lord the Lord, what he wants. If you need resources, reach out to us. We can connect you with the John Paul, the second healing center and all their books and wonderful resources. If you want one of these conferences that we’ve been talking about in your area, then, then, then go to our website or go to the JP two healing center website and put it there and we’ll connect you with people, but folks, you got to do something.

Things aren’t going to get better by doing nothing. You got to take that step forward and there’s people that’ll do it with you. Stop suffering in silence. So, folks, thank you again. Consider giving to us on Giving Tuesday. Uh, it starts it started yesterday. You can do it all the way up to December the third.

So we can keep helping people the way that you’ve heard these men were helped in this episode. So Vic, let’s take it to prayer in the name of the father and the son and the Holy spirit. Amen. Heavenly father, we thank you for this day. We thank you for this opportunity to talk about brokenness, to stop suffering in silence, to, to bring the darkness into the light, to bring the truth.

That the fact is there’s many men out there that are hiding and that have on mask and are, are living false lives and they need help. Lord, for any man that’s listening to this, or any wife that may have a husband in this place, Lord, please open their hearts to this message. Give them the things that they need.

Have them reach out to us or the JP2 Healing Center. Lord, we are broken, but we’re not forgotten. We’ve made mistakes, but we’re not defined by them. Lord, please take clay and reshape us. Reshape us into what you want us to be. Help us to be vulnerable and to let you in, Lord. That is our prayer today. In the name of the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit.

Amen.